Friends

Okay I got this from a friend who emailed it to me and I just wanted to share it with whoever is looking...

Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't? or saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say. Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. If you do, they might break your heart...if you don't, you might break theirs. Have you ever decided not to become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own....when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger. Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had. * What would you do if every time you fell in love you had to say good-bye? *What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there? *What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? (even if it is that you don't care anymore)*What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them? *What would you do if you never got the chance to say I am friends with all of my family and they know I love them?* People live, but people die. And I want to tell you that you are a friend. If you died tomorrow , you would be in my heart!!! Would I be in yours? If you care about me as much as I care about you, you will send this back. You might be best friends one year, pretty good friends the next year, don't talk that often the next, and don't want to talk at all the year after that. So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life,look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you if you consider them a friend as well. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend, someday you might feel like you have NO FRIENDS at all, just remember this e-mail and take comfort in knowing somebody out there cares about you and .. always will.. I LOVE YOU!!!! Send this to all the friends that you have...all the friends that you've lost...and to all the friends you've lost touch with...just to let them know that you care...

All those questions aren't that hard to answer really. If you cared that much about someone, take that Leap Of Faith, your heart isn't lying to you because Jesus lives there, He wouldn't lie to you!

Feelings of Loneliness and Whatever Else

So today hasn't been that great of a day... I really don't know what I'm feeling but I'm on the verge of crying everything all out again like I did Wednesday night, late at night. I don't know really what I was crying about, everything probably... I just let it all out. It was silent crying, not the full out bawling, but enough that in the morning I had a headache. I felt good right after that though, I think I fell straight to sleep. No one was awake then either so it was just me and God talking, well mostly me talking and asking the usual questions and some new ones. I miss you guys and hanging out together... this really sucks that you guys are at camp most of the summer, if not, all summer. We don't get to do things together, like camping for a weekend or something because you guys are so tried and need to build up your strength for the next week... I wish I had gotten more weeks at camp but being late and all I can't really do anything about that can I?
Emotions are just rolling through me... Injustice, sorrow, anger, jealousy (don't know why), loneliness, fear (of what?!), shame, worthlessness, and so many more that I don't have a name for... they're just sweeping through me in big waves and any minute I'm going to fall to pieces. I think this has been building up for a few days now already too. Yippy, while all my relatives from Ontario are here I'll have an emotional break down from something I can't even discover. I think I got the injustice, sorrow, and anger ones pinned down, but why all these other emotions? Its all bunching up and this can't be a good thing. To just explode! I'm trying to get it out a little at a time but it isn't working very well, you can't really comfort yourself. Really, what am I doing to myself?! I can seriously hurt myself if I do this, but its almost like I want to just crush my spirit, to make it wither and die! What am I thinking?! Guys I'm really having problems, right now, but I really don't know what they all are, I want to find out everything before I start to sort this all out, I have to sort out whats what. I found a song that describes what I feel in some ways...

Imperfections- Skillet

You’re worth so much
It’ll never be enough
To see what you have to give
How beautiful you are
Yet seem so far from everything
You’re wanting to be
You’re wanting to be

Tears falling down again
Tears falling down

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you’re drowning
In your imperfection

You mean so much
That heaven would touch
The face of humankind for you
How special you are
Revel in your day
You’re fearfully and wonderfully made
You’re wonderfully made

Tears falling down again
Come let the healing begin

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you’re drowning
In your imperfection

You’re worth so much
So easily crushed
Wanna be like everyone else
No one escapes
Every breath we take
Dealing with our own skeletons, skeletons

You fall to your knees
You beg, you plead
Can I be somebody else
For all the times I hate myself?
Your failures devour your heart
In every hour, you’re drowning
In your imperfection

Won’t you believe, yeah
Won’t you believe, yeah
All the things I see in you

You’re not the only one
You’re not the only one
Drowning in imperfection


At least the chorus does...